My Call

One of the things I think will be helpful to me in this journey is to reflect on my story theologically. I picked up a book by Edward Wimberly on Spiritual Renewal for Religious Caregivers called: Recalling Our Own Stories. In his tradition, retelling the story of our "call" to ministry is an important place to start. He calls it the story of our "project of existence." It is the meta-story of our life. It is a re-membering of the fact not only "that we are" but of "who we are called to be."

The first time I walked into King of Glory Lutheran Church in Houston, Texas I knew that I was in a special place. I knew because Pastor Ramona Bouzard was looking at us as we walked up the sidewalk through the small square window in the door with a huge smile on her face. Upon opening the door for us as we walked up, she knealt down, met me face to face and extended her hand to me. She embraced me and walked me around to meet other young people in the church. I never felt so loved and welcomed in my life as I did in that moment.

I continued in that Church despite the fact that my father was none too pleased with a female pastor. I learned about baptism and decided to pursue that for myself the following Easter. As my baptism approached, I understood that the sacrament was a sign of God's work toward me, my atonement and salvation. But, I also understood, even as a young man, that the sacrament was a sign of my commitment and love toward God and this Christian community I was choosing to join. I understood I was choosing a life of discipleship.

That Christmas, as we prepared for our choral extravaganza for the year, I was sitting in the pews watching as Pastor Ramona walked to and fro in the church, talking with folks as she did, seeming doing all that she did with such joy. At that moment, a warm sensation came over me and my hair stood up on my neck. I felt a movement inside of me and I heard a message distinctly within me. "Be for others as she is for you." I began to cry with such joy at this message felt so deep within me. I told everyone who would listen that I was wanting to be a pastor. I wanted to study religion and the scriptures. I wanted to be for others as Pastor Ramona was for me.

Twenty-five years later, that call has not died. Occasionally, I even get that feeling that I am doing as God has called me. Whatever my ministry is, that message is at the heart. I love, because Christ first loved me. I discovered that love, that grace, fully in community and continue to. Relationship and community is the Body of Christ and where we both experience our at-onement with God and we come to understand our justification. It is the community of Christ that holds us accountable and responsible for our on-going process toward sanctification and holds us accountable when we miss the mark of God's call for us in and through Christ. Rauschenbausch stated that sin is the "private kingdom of self-service." Love is living life as a servant in and through Christ in the Kingdom of God. Not perfectly, but with intention. If my story has taught me anything, it is the power of that saving community to move me toward grace and understanding my at-onement with God, experienced in the Body of Christ.