Too often, we as flawed human beings seem to work from a place of fear rather than from a place of empowerment. Fear dictates our actions. Fear keeps us from doing the right thing and from pursuing justice with our words or in our actions. Living in fear is devastating.
I was watching my daughter yesterday live in her fear of riding her bike without the training wheels and I became extremely frustrated. Angry even. Yet, she seems paralyzed enough by her fear she will not take a risk of trying something new, no matter how much she wants to do it. Risk aversion. To me though, it doesn't seem to be connected to her fear of falling, but out of her fear of failing. Almost as if she can't KNOW she will succeed, she will not try it.
The anger and frustration I felt comes from my own risk aversion sometimes. I don't particularly like to try things that I don't think I will be successful at either. In fact, I have often sabotaged myself out of this fear. Screwing up on purpose is so much easier than screwing up on accident.
This shame stuff is really playing with me lately. When I see it in people I love, it really makes me angry. I want my children to feel free to fail and still be o.k. with themselves. I want them to be spared of the shame that is inherent, it seems for me, in failing. Then I wonder how I end up shaming them myself and perpetuate their fear of failing.
Fear of failing. I'd rather be afraid of falling.
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