Prayer Flags

I made a prayer flag today with the guidance of a dear friend and colleague, Stephanie. The exercise was to create a space in which I could reflect on what I need to go out into the universe. I focused of course on the beginning of this journey of CPE and decided I needed to place on the flag what I most need to remember as I go through this process. I wrote on four panels of cloth:
Live
Always
In the
Present

I then wrote a haiku on each panel using the word I highlighted on each.

I want to live full
Like a firefly in sunset
Blazing bright, yet brief
(obviously still stewing on yesterday's prophecy)

Always, not able
For all things will change and die
Yet, I choose becoming

The present is just
knowing there is no greater
present to be had

Yesterday's encounter tapped into so much fear and anxiety within me that I was not even aware of. The key word is vulnerable. I felt incredibly vulnerable. Exposed. It exposed a deeper shame than one's I have been more keenly aware of. Namely this: there is something so wrong with me, I was not even designed to live a long happy life with my family. The point of whether the prophecy is "accurate" or not is irrelevant to me. What is relevant is that it genuinely tapped into fear and shame that lives in me. I flew from that room with my tail between my legs and I am now beginning the process to learn more from this gift. The prayer flags is my start. I live in the present with this. Only there can I find joy. Tomorrow has enough troubles of its own.