Quasimodo

I watched the Disney version of Victor Hugo's masterpiece, The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I had not put together before tonight that his name means "partially formed" or "not completely formed." Quasimodo experiences a great deal of vulnerability in his state as he struggles with finding community, love, acceptance and his strength as a human-being. He struggles to understand his value and his call. He lives confined to a world that is both his "sanctuary" and his prison. Held there by a man, a man with seemingly a lot of power, authority and strength but is himself imprisoned by his own fears of vulnerability and "sin" within himself. So much so he focuses all his attention on ridding the great city of Paris of all sinful elements, particularly ones he is attracted to, such as Esmirelda.

The vulnerable act of God's self-emptying love into us calls us to radically accept the "other" as long as we are able and willing to find strength, love and community in the midst of our own vulnerability. To radically accept and embrace our vulnerability, to choose it on behalf of the other. This is not to be done in a way that allows ourselves to be abused, used, or injured in any way. No this is a claim of strength. To not be able to embrace our vulnerability is likely to lead us to actions that will destroy relationships and misuse power. It is our inability to accept and embrace our vulnerability that leads us to pursue power over the other and toward hurting others.

I saw this in my father particularly. He was a man that experienced a great amount of vulnerability in his life but, partly because of his life situation and his own choices, fought against it acted out against his family in hurtful and abusive ways. He was a man that, when later in life began to experience the ability to embrace his own vulnerability with some shame resilience because of his relationship with the story of God's vulnerability, began to move toward healing.

I too struggle to embrace my own vulnerabililty as many are, but I am beginning to develop a deeper undestanding of this self-emptying love of God that invites me to embrace my areas of vulnerability as a resource rather than a problem. God utilizes vulnerability as a saving and healing act and invites us to do that as well, for ourselves, but also radically for the other. To have compassion for all who are vulnerable, which in many ways is all of us. There is a call to help ease to suffering of all, by getting closer to our own. This is the saving act of God, that God emptied that love, which is Godself, so perfectly into us that we are able to embrace our own vulnerability and truly claim the gifts that God has given us.

In the end, Quasimodo was not "partially formed" at all, but more fully a "child of God" because he was able to really embrace who he was and form community. His nemesis, however, could never embrace his vulnerability, could never embrace his shadow and lost himself in the process. This is what shame does to us, it makes us feel "half formed" and prevents us from being fully who we are, living in the perfect Love that is God. It causes some to retreat behind the walls of life and others to abuse power, but either way, shame of our vulnerability is the culprit. There have been times in my life I have felt half-formed, and I don't particularly like feeling half-baked, half-formed or not completely put together, but it is only when I accept and embrace that I am not, and never will be that I can move toward wholeness and healing in the Love of God.