Just came back from my first opportunity to present to my SES peers. I'm exhausted. I had a lot of different emotions going through me when I was done and by the time I got home a few hours later, the primary one was joy. I feel really happy about my ability to just be in that moment and be engaged with my peers and supervisors during that time. I was anxious, but not overwhelmed and I felt very engaged and ready.
Ironically enough, much of what I addressed today was my theology around the self-emptying, vulnerable God. While my writing may not always reflect my vulnerability, I felt like I was being vulnerable in my willingness to be present in that way within that space. I felt a big change in me today. One that I am particularly happy with.
And, I did get some nice feedback on content, but the thing I will take from that consultation today is that I was able to do some work I have found particularly challenging in the past. I don't like presenting half-baked ideas and I certainly did that today. I'm not sure those in the room know how vulnerable I was today. I also got one more thing out of today that I will take with me. I like that I am a complex thinker. I enjoy that part of myself. And, while I would like to be able to communicate my passion more simply at times, I also like that I dig deeper into things. I really like that about myself.
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