Rocks and Water

I think I am beginning to understand this peer consultation thing. It has been really valuable to me in my learning. I go in anxious, and come out feeling energized by the process. I think one of the things that happens to us professionally and personally is that we view getting feedback and consultation from our peers as a focus on our weakness. While the process takes a certain amount of vulnerability to seek out, the result often leads to growth, at least for me.

Sure, there is an invitation to address things that might be difficult to see or things I may not want to see or understand and I become resistant. I get that. But, for the most part, the process itself is one that seems to almost inevitably lead to growth, even if very difficult. Probably BECAUSE it can be difficult. It is hard to change the appearance of a rock, yet water does it in nature all the time. Flowing water can change the shape and appearance of rock.

I like the image of the growing edge. It is the place in nature, in a cell, in biology, where new growth happens. Growth does not take place on the smooth areas, the areas fully formed, but the areas not yet fully formed or broken. I am invited to grow in the areas that I am not yet fully formed, or broken. This takes a certain amount of embrace of our own vulnerability not to resist this growth too often. If we allow ourselves to touch the growing edge and allow others to take us there, we are far more ready and able to grow.

Last week I got a rock in a service of healing that touches me. It is very smooth, a rock worn by water, probably a river rock. It is beautiful and at first glance seems to be smooth all over. Yet, after picking it up and flipping it over, I noticed a broken, sharp jagged edge on the other side. The rock reminded me of this concept of the growing edge. I have a lot of well formed areas of who I am, but I also have areas in which I am not yet fully formed, even broken. Yet the rock, has it's beauty, it is not defective. It just is as it has come to be. Given enough time, the water that once flowed over it would smooth out the broken space too. God's love, to me, is that living water. Given enough time, and enough embrace of my own vulnerability to allow that water to flow over me, my own rough spaces will be made smooth, or at least move in that direction. The thing is though, I feel pretty well formed just as I am. Sure I am not perfect unless I embrace the notion I am perfect in my imperfection. With God's self-emptying love, I feel that really. I am formed in that love and by that love and that is enough in this moment.