Prayer... What is it Good For?

This may seem strange coming from a minister, but I don't get the point of praying or prayer. I just don't. I guess at the end of the day, I don't think there is a "being" to hear me. I do believe our energy, our story goes out into the fabric of the universe and changes things. I do believe that. I believe that my life is more than this physical shell in which I reside. But the function and form of prayer has always been a troubling road block for me in my spiritual life. Meditation I can do, sometimes, but prayer seems so fruitless. I think I need to reevaluate my definition and view of prayer. I to often associate the act of praying with this idea of magical thinking. I don't believe there is a being who delivers on my desires. I do however think there is a benefit to connecting to the fabric of the universe. Is that prayer? I don't expect anything from my prayers. Probably the biggest reason I don't "pray" I suppose.

Recently it was suggested to me that I pray with my wife about this current situation. My initial reaction was the level of vulnerability and intimacy that requires. That is something I can certainly do with my wife, but I was also aware it is a very intimate thing. I am also aware, that we haven't done it yet. I don't know the "why" of prayer. Is it connection? I can connect without prayer. Is it the concept of "ask and God will provide?" I don't really believe God works that way. So what is prayer? And why do it?

I think what I am beginning to realize is that prayer is not simply communication, it is connection. Prayer then is a piece of the puzzle of revelation in the form of one way to tell, or hear, the story of ourselves in relationship witho ourselves, each other and the fabric of the universe that is God. Perhaps, when I "pray" with my wife, I am choosing to connect with her on a deeper level. I suppose this is why that idea seemed so intimate to me. It can be more intimate than sexuality in many ways. Deeper and certainly longer lasting. Probably even more satisfying.

So, my goal is to pray a bit more. To connect with my own thoughts and feelings and those of others more deeply. By doing this I connect more deeply to the God of the universe. I believe this "energy" effects change. In some way. Does it provide me with $5 when I need it or a succesful surgery. Maybe. Maybe not. But, it does have the potential to help me feel connected which can be healing in and of itself.

So, when I say I will pray for others, I am saying I will connect with you. I will connect even when you can't. When I ask you to pray for me. I am asking you to connect with me. To offer the body of Christ to me in relationship. I am not asking for magic. But, something mystical may just happen in relationship.

Amen?!